I'm not happy.
but I'm usually happier than my friends so There's no help there.
I think i get people unhappy no one really makes me unhappy. I don't care some times if i make you unhappy, because in a sick way I'm helping you. I wish someone would make me unhappy like that. Ive been sick for a long time, when i say sick everyone whose ever known me has some sort of an idea but not exactly one they can be sure of. Everyone has a small thought on it that causes my statement of having been sick make sense in their head for a short while but since theres no blinding white arrow pointing to a name or an event they go hey no fiona what are you talking about you're just different....then they think about it and go-(either because your Meredith and you think that i think I'm some sort of protegee star girl separate from the rest of the world or your Aidan and you're trying to make me feel better by revealing your theories which actually are the things that i want most to not hear and live up to in the world)-"every ones different."
im sick. im really sick.
im sick in the mind.
Im not talking about different im talking about WRONG.
im going to be wrong until i can convince my self its right
im never going to kill myself im going to live here for as long as i can.
Im a happy person im such a happy person i really am but im sick. sicks not the word you use for what i mean but in my head it is. its what i want to say and thats why im sick.